A Very Setzer
Christmas, 2012
Merry Christmas! We sent T off to the bustling metropolis
of Ephraim, Utah (pop. 6135) to study pre-engineering at Snow College. His
comment: “College is way better than high school!” J is studying German and
working on his Eagle Scout. Except, in German, igel means hedgehog, so J aspires to become the first Igel
Scout, ever. He’s making dog beds for the Humane Society out of old awnings and
PVC pipe. E is preparing to dance as an evil spider in Babes in
Toyland, Steve is working for a company in Boston from his desk here at home,
and I, Lee Ann, am writing this Christmas newsletter.
Humor writer Dave Barry occasionally interrupts his musings
to note that certain ridiculous word combinations would be Good Names for Rock
Bands. Here’s our running list from this year. We thought about starting a rock
band, but there were just too many excellent names to choose from. As a service
to you, if you start a rock band, you are welcome to use one of our names:
Moose Satellites
|
Norm the Minotaur
|
Heroic Spiders
|
Flaming Mustache
|
Intergalactic Wombat
Lions
|
Doomed Goons
|
Runaway Electric
Toothbrush (from
a Garfield comic strip?)
|
Summation Pie
Evil Lunch
|
Trained Earwigs
|
Hedgehogs in
Training
|
Perpetual Doink (when the cat presses his forehead against
you, then takes a nap in that position)
|
Black Tapioca
Talented Cardboard
Left-handed Drunk
Wrestlers
|
Outsourced Umbrage (Unfortunately accurate description from my
writing group, about a story
I wrote. It’s better now. I hope.)
Group Hallucination
|
Two-Degree Angle (the angle of a ruler placed with one end on Steve’s head, and one on
E’s. Still in Steve’s favor…but not for much longer.)
|
Mail-Order
Fruitcakes
|
Sith Kittens
|
Delicious Ankles
|
Caffeinated Soap
|
Marshmallow Villain-Lizards
(thank you, Kellogg’s
Spiderman cereal!)
|
Darn Fine Tupperware
(I suppose we’d need
permission for this one…)
|
For your further enlightenment, we’ve also been collecting tongue twisters. We decided that the mark of a
really good tongue twister is if you can’t even pronounce it right in your head.
Weird Ward Real
Werewolf
Real Weird Werewolf Ward
Stale snail shell Irish
wristwatch
Black Yak Respectable
spectacles
Soap and snowflakes Soldier’s
shoulder surgery
Sith Kittens (the only entry that makes both lists)
And now, folks, let’s say it five times fast for the Sith Christmas Kittens! (cue applause)
Merry Christmas, from Steve, Lee Ann, T, J, and
E
