Friday, December 21, 2012

Merry Christmas, 2012!

A Very Setzer Christmas, 2012

Merry Christmas! We sent T off to the bustling metropolis of Ephraim, Utah (pop. 6135) to study pre-engineering at Snow College. His comment: “College is way better than high school!” J is studying German and working on his Eagle Scout. Except, in German, igel means hedgehog, so J aspires to become the first Igel Scout, ever. He’s making dog beds for the Humane Society out of old awnings and PVC pipe. E is preparing to dance as an evil spider in Babes in Toyland, Steve is working for a company in Boston from his desk here at home, and I, Lee Ann, am writing this Christmas newsletter.

Humor writer Dave Barry occasionally interrupts his musings to note that certain ridiculous word combinations would be Good Names for Rock Bands. Here’s our running list from this year. We thought about starting a rock band, but there were just too many excellent names to choose from. As a service to you, if you start a rock band, you are welcome to use one of our names:

Moose Satellites
Norm the Minotaur
Heroic Spiders
Flaming Mustache
Intergalactic Wombat Lions
Doomed Goons
Runaway Electric Toothbrush (from a Garfield comic strip?)
Summation Pie
Evil Lunch
Trained Earwigs
Hedgehogs in Training
Perpetual Doink (when the cat presses his forehead against you, then takes a nap in that position)
Black Tapioca
Talented Cardboard
Left-handed Drunk Wrestlers
Outsourced Umbrage (Unfortunately accurate description from my writing group, about a story I wrote. It’s better now. I hope.)
Group Hallucination
Two-Degree Angle (the angle of a ruler             placed with one end on Steve’s head, and one on E’s. Still in Steve’s favor…but not for much longer.)
Mail-Order Fruitcakes
Sith Kittens
Delicious Ankles
Caffeinated Soap
Marshmallow Villain-Lizards (thank you, Kellogg’s Spiderman cereal!)
Darn Fine Tupperware (I suppose we’d need permission for this one…)

For your further enlightenment, we’ve also been collecting tongue twisters. We decided that the mark of a really good tongue twister is if you can’t even pronounce it right in your head.

Weird Ward                             Real Werewolf
Real Weird Werewolf Ward
Stale snail shell                        Irish wristwatch
Black Yak                                Respectable spectacles
Soap and snowflakes              Soldier’s shoulder surgery
Sith Kittens (the only entry that makes both lists)

And now, folks, let’s say it five times fast for the Sith Christmas Kittens!  (cue applause)

Merry Christmas, from Steve, Lee Ann, T, J, and E

1 comment:

  1. Outsourced Umbrage isn't just a rock band--it's an industry. Or maybe even an entire economic sector.

    Come to think of it, didn't Eric used to work in something like that?


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